Alienation of Affection & Criminal Conversation: A Guide to NC’s ‘Heart Balm’ Torts

You might be surprised to hear that in North Carolina, you can actually sue someone for “wrecking” your marriage. Most states dropped these kinds of lawsuits years ago, but here, so-called “heart balm” torts are still part of the legal system, and they’re making headlines. Just recently, a TikTok star was ordered to pay $1.75 million for having an affair with a married man in one of the state’s biggest alienation of affection cases ever.

If you’re thinking about filing a claim, or if you’ve just found out you’re being sued, it’s important to understand how these cases work and how much money could really be involved. Let’s take a look at Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, and what each one means for those involved.

Claim 1: Alienation of Affection (AoA)

In heart balm torts, the focus is always on the “other” person involved, not the spouse. An Alienation of Affection claim is essentially when someone sues a third party for causing the breakdown of their marriage. This kind of case is sometimes called a loss of affection lawsuit. If you want to file a lawsuit for Alienation of Affection in NC, you’ll need to prove three things:

1. A Marriage of Genuine Love and Affection: A real marriage existed, with genuine love and affection. The marriage did not need to be perfect, but it had to be one with actual love and affection between the spouses.
2. Affection Was Destroyed: The affection in the marriage was damaged or destroyed by the defendant’s actions.
3. A Malicious Cause: The defendant’s wrongful act was the primary reason the marriage fell apart.

One big myth about alienation of affection cases is that they must involve sexual intercourse. That’s not true. The third party could be a lover, or it might be an in-law, a friend, or even a therapist who intentionally and maliciously pushed one spouse away from the other.

Claim 2: Criminal Conversation (CC)

Criminal Conversation is the civil tort for adultery. This is a common way of suing for adultery in NC.

Don’t let the name fool you. A Criminal Conversation claim is not a criminal charge, and no one is going to jail. It’s a purely civil lawsuit that a wronged spouse can file. This type of claim is simpler than Alienation of Affection because the plaintiff only needs to prove two things:

1. A Valid Marriage:  The plaintiff and their spouse were legally married.
2. Sex Happened: The defendant had sex with the married spouse before the couple officially separated.

A critical point here is that ignorance is not a defense. It doesn’t matter if the other person knew your spouse was married or not. Even if the cheating spouse claimed the marriage was unhappy or “basically over,” if the act happened while the couple was married and living together, liability can be established.

Key Defenses in Heart Balm Tort Cases

If you’re facing one of these lawsuits, there are some defenses you should know about.

The biggest defense is the actual date the couple separated. North Carolina doesn’t recognize claims for anything that happened after the married couple physically separated with at least one spouse intending to make that separation permanent. This specific date often becomes the central point of contention in these cases.

There’s also a statute of limitations. Any heart balm claim must be filed within three years of the last wrongful act. For Criminal Conversation, that’s the last act of sex. For Alienation of Affection, it’s the last act of alienation, or the final action that caused the relationship to break down.

Some less common defenses exist as well. For instance, a defendant in an Alienation of Affection case could try to prove there was no genuine love in the marriage to begin with. In rare cases, a defendant could even argue “connivance,” claiming the spouse filing the action encouraged or set up the affair.

What’s at Stake? Compensatory and Punitive Damages

Heart balm tort cases grab headlines not just for the drama, but for the financial stakes. Winning can mean receiving both compensatory and punitive damages.

• Compensatory damages cover actual losses, like emotional suffering, financial instability, or the loss of a partner’s support.
• Punitive damages are meant to punish the defendant for misconduct and discourage others from doing the same. That’s why some cases, like the TikTok influencer suit, can lead to eye-catching million-dollar awards. You should talk to an attorney, however, to see what actual liability may look like in your specific situation.

Finding Support for Adultery Lawsuits with Dozier Miller

Heart balm torts are a tricky and deeply personal part of North Carolina law. If you’re dealing with the emotional and legal fallout of a broken marriage—or facing a lawsuit yourself—it’s important to have the right legal team by your side.

If you’re caught up in one of these lawsuits, or think you might be soon, reach out to the attorneys at Dozier Miller for a confidential consultation. We are here to help you understand your rights and explore your legal options.